For me, Poland wasn’t solely a negative experience. Although it wasn’t in the exact way I would’ve chose, I learned a lot about myself. Having all the different conflicting emotions inside my body at once caused a lot of thinking to be done. I knew that Poland would be tough. I knew that I would see things that would make me the opposite of happy, but I also knew that going with such a great group of people would make the trip a little bit less emotionally wrecking.
For me, it was my first time doing anything related to the Holocaust outside of school. I went to Washington D.C. with my 8th grade class, but going to the Holocaust museum was taken off the agenda because it would be “too hard” for some of my classmates. My mom and I were both very upset, and didn’t know why teaching about WWII to 8th grade students wasn’t required. Of course that portion of history is tough to talk about, let alone see in a museum, but choosing to leave it out of the curriculum doesn’t lessen its effect on the victims.
I still vividly remember the masa to Poland, specifically our time in Majdonik. It was the first of our stops throughout our journey, and the one that made the biggest impact on me. I 100% understand the reasons for visiting the monstrosity that remains there, but I wish I could get some of the images out of my head. I took a few moments to myself while being there and let my emotions pour into my journal:
“I’m so numb. I feel as if someone has punched me in the stomach. My heart feels as if it’s missing and there’s a little flutter inside my chest. Seeing everyone around me hugging and embracing gives me hope of good people still left in the world. I just want to leave this place. I hate this mood that is upon everyone. I don’t like being here. I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it. I hate this so much. I don’t understand how this happened. How did no one stop it. How did people not know. I’m left without words to say.”
I’ve gained a lot of knowledge about the events that took place in the Holocaust, and I’ve taken away a lot of knowledge regarding myself and self-growth. Talking about my Judaism has always been hard for me at home because of how small the Jewish population is in my town. But being at the different concentration camps and seeing how hard it was for the Jewish people of Eastern Europe during WWII has changed my perspectives a lot. I’ve never been so proud to be Jewish. I’ve never been so confident in my choice to marry someone Jewish. Of course I’ve known my whole life that I want to raise my children in a Jewish household, but this journey has cemented that thought in my head. My priority now is to continue Judaism because I feel that it is our duty as the remaining population. As long as we have at least half of the faith that the Holocaust victims had, it will come completely naturally.
No comments:
Post a Comment